Every now and then i play tennis with a blind guy. He tells me he's a baller, he tells me he's sick of hes long time girlfriend and he tells me he's going to cheat on her. Now im sitting in the car with him it's pouring rain outside and there's a beyonce love song sapping whats left of my testosterone. Then tears trickle down blind guys cheeks... like a teenager entering puberty his voice croaks and all shaky utters "I just want her back". Is this the part where we kiss?
My daily life is bombarded with blind guys company, I'm sitting on the computer listening to his daily dribble a repeat of yesterdays dribble. Like a church he preaches his love for this divine being. By the week i'm over it, I really don't give a shit about his love life. By the month I really don't give a shit about blind guy. When I see his calller ID i feel like jumping out of my window just to avoid answering it. Now I'm a zombie, just dead with the usual soulless murmur to concur when he rambles about how miserable his life is.
So I agree to stalk his x, was I creepy? no just bored to death! First stop her work place, 3 guys crammed into a small Japanese ute. Through traffic we played a game of cat and mouse, a few exaggerated turns, 1 red light and sudden changes of direction but at what cost? Next stop local cafe/restaurant, me and Asi request a table 1 table away from her as she dines with a female friend in our attempt to eaves drop we make funnels out of menus but at what cost? While blind guy is hiding under the veil of darkness not far from us. Final stop we follow her home... trying to seem less suspicious we drive past 20 seconds after her with our lights off but at what cost?
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Deep thoughts
well back in 92 i didnt know what an amadeep was.. but beyond 2000 the story unfolds. I had to take a step back because the warmth and vibrant aura was too overwhelming at first.. amadeep sure knew how to radiate emotion from those lips. My first sighting i was a bit skeptical of myself.. I couldn't believe this human being was reading a newspaper at the speed of humming birds.. flapping those pages furiously I really wondered if he absorbed the print.
I was blown away instantly when he was so eager to introduce himself, "hi im amadeep whats your name?" except i couldnt help but replay it in my mind in slow motion, sounded like his voice was on overdrive.
As time grew I knew amadeep as a flickering light bulb... not really switched on all the time, diverting into tangents and returning to reality in a split second, he changed my mind about humans.. this creation was indeed not human but an artificial vessel embedded wth limited learning capabilities.
Oh sorry.. there is just too much to say about this young whistle.. certainly puts a smile on peoples faces, good to live in the amadeep era!
I was blown away instantly when he was so eager to introduce himself, "hi im amadeep whats your name?" except i couldnt help but replay it in my mind in slow motion, sounded like his voice was on overdrive.
As time grew I knew amadeep as a flickering light bulb... not really switched on all the time, diverting into tangents and returning to reality in a split second, he changed my mind about humans.. this creation was indeed not human but an artificial vessel embedded wth limited learning capabilities.
Oh sorry.. there is just too much to say about this young whistle.. certainly puts a smile on peoples faces, good to live in the amadeep era!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
And The Winner is... Iraq!!!!
Lately weekends have been a disappointment.. as eventful as SBS weather watch and slow as aids. A couple of weeks earlier I took upon agreeing to go to a soccer match with my mate Victor and Robo, apparently not the butter feet material this time, Fulham FC vs Melbourne Losery. Ever since the world cup soccer has inched its way up on my interest chart.
So last night was cold.. windy too, typical Melbourne weather which couldn't be helped.. but the walk to the stadium was made more pleasant by the frantic merchandise stand which were struggling to retain all the ballons that were attatched, blown away by the breeze.
The crowd was buzzing, 20 thousand supporters spread out in telstra dome made it look like 100 people. A mixture of young and old, also complimentary eye candy sparking the mood for female connection! Victor was amped! tonight was about Victor!
Fulham handed out candy and took it back then pushed Victory into a puddle and proceeded to kick mud all over.. so it was 4 - 0 Fulham.
Nearing the end of the match attention was drawn towards more pleasing aesthetics if you know what I mean..... giggity. Anyways the 90 minutes pass and we leave with a void... so as always we feel that void with food and headed to the Nandos adjacent from the stadium. We ate, as guys we often just talk about chicks.. so we did.. bunda bunda bunda... I tuned out trying to fix my fone.. it was funked..
Entering Cyberspace.........
We left Nandos and headed for club TFU. Robo was reluctant to go as he is 25 and has no time for baby shit (the teeny boopper scene) but at the line he was persuaded to stay. There wasn't a massive que, everyone huddled like penguins to fight the winter weather and soon enough we got in. In the club Robo and Victor found a comfortable spot scoping out some potential, I on the other hand went to the bar to shout Victory a potent mix of alcohol.
Slowly simping on the mix Victor twitched... giggity.. spasming you can see the life force circulating through his viens like luminous Xmas lights. He was ALiivveeEEE!!! We hit the floor bumping to the bass.. dimes left and right of us I hint to Victor "what do you think of her" the voluptuous brunette to the left of us. Suttlety (spelling?) isnt my specialty so we was sprung... she left a lingering eye and a smiled trickled down her face as she tossed her hair across her face to hide her interest.
Victor being new to the game was eager to play ball.. so I gave him a little push on his trike and walked up to her, "hey whats with the cold shoulder?" her "what cold shoulder?" me "I'm Mr X and heres my friends Victor and Robo".She was quick to introduce herself as Olivia, Victor shyed away from further convo so I stepped up the liqour. Fueled with liquid courage he left his shell in the cloak room and started sweet talking our new friend.
Talking turned into grinding.. I had to take a break and laugh in the corner, I was in hysterics! Victor had a boner!!! (serious) at this point in time Victor's alter ego was in complete control.. I could see it! I could tell the future! Victors first kiss will happen faster than I could say nenad. With the crowd bouncing wildly to the beat it was like all the disco lights united and only rained upon the new couple... it was like a sound barrier had been formed around them and only heavy panting can be heard within their space. Like a generic love scene.
She gently kisses him on the lips and Victor reciprocated with a slobbery mouth full on her face! Union was achieved! my work is done here....
and so I whistled for a cab and when it came near
the Licensplate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air.
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.
So last night was cold.. windy too, typical Melbourne weather which couldn't be helped.. but the walk to the stadium was made more pleasant by the frantic merchandise stand which were struggling to retain all the ballons that were attatched, blown away by the breeze.
The crowd was buzzing, 20 thousand supporters spread out in telstra dome made it look like 100 people. A mixture of young and old, also complimentary eye candy sparking the mood for female connection! Victor was amped! tonight was about Victor!
Fulham handed out candy and took it back then pushed Victory into a puddle and proceeded to kick mud all over.. so it was 4 - 0 Fulham.
Nearing the end of the match attention was drawn towards more pleasing aesthetics if you know what I mean..... giggity. Anyways the 90 minutes pass and we leave with a void... so as always we feel that void with food and headed to the Nandos adjacent from the stadium. We ate, as guys we often just talk about chicks.. so we did.. bunda bunda bunda... I tuned out trying to fix my fone.. it was funked..
Entering Cyberspace.........
We left Nandos and headed for club TFU. Robo was reluctant to go as he is 25 and has no time for baby shit (the teeny boopper scene) but at the line he was persuaded to stay. There wasn't a massive que, everyone huddled like penguins to fight the winter weather and soon enough we got in. In the club Robo and Victor found a comfortable spot scoping out some potential, I on the other hand went to the bar to shout Victory a potent mix of alcohol.
Slowly simping on the mix Victor twitched... giggity.. spasming you can see the life force circulating through his viens like luminous Xmas lights. He was ALiivveeEEE!!! We hit the floor bumping to the bass.. dimes left and right of us I hint to Victor "what do you think of her" the voluptuous brunette to the left of us. Suttlety (spelling?) isnt my specialty so we was sprung... she left a lingering eye and a smiled trickled down her face as she tossed her hair across her face to hide her interest.
Victor being new to the game was eager to play ball.. so I gave him a little push on his trike and walked up to her, "hey whats with the cold shoulder?" her "what cold shoulder?" me "I'm Mr X and heres my friends Victor and Robo".She was quick to introduce herself as Olivia, Victor shyed away from further convo so I stepped up the liqour. Fueled with liquid courage he left his shell in the cloak room and started sweet talking our new friend.
Talking turned into grinding.. I had to take a break and laugh in the corner, I was in hysterics! Victor had a boner!!! (serious) at this point in time Victor's alter ego was in complete control.. I could see it! I could tell the future! Victors first kiss will happen faster than I could say nenad. With the crowd bouncing wildly to the beat it was like all the disco lights united and only rained upon the new couple... it was like a sound barrier had been formed around them and only heavy panting can be heard within their space. Like a generic love scene.
She gently kisses him on the lips and Victor reciprocated with a slobbery mouth full on her face! Union was achieved! my work is done here....
and so I whistled for a cab and when it came near
the Licensplate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air.
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The guy
Is it paranoid to think I'm sedated? feeling relaxed and a rush of adrenaline simultaneously makes me flicker in and out of reality. The soothing melodies of trance keeps the adrenaline at bay and a instant feel of acceleration underneath me intensifies, like a gravitational pull I magnetize myself towards the infinite fall. We are falling continuously I am falling at a speed of 34mph but will never reach my final destination. Have I learned anything from my down fall? short answer yes long answer no, the practice is easier said than done. Let me learn fellatio of the gods and I will reveal my true identity, if wearing this mask isn't arousing enough maybe you should try skinning your face? down to your muscle fibers and ask yourself is this the cost of vanity?
We are all vain but the most self conscious remain silent only to be done and dusted. It is too late for those fools, they did it to themselves now they are programed to be beta. An obsolete program in this reality should be terminated. What about the sick the old and the disabled you say? why they are already dead? they are just a figment of imagination. Movement, why move when you can materialize? why ? Wouldn't it make life easier? I mean arnt we all for one less step. I mean we shouldnt even learn to walk.
Sick and tired of that guy... he calls himself the main the stream the media? He influences many sheep and get them to follow. The slaughter the wicked laughter, I am sitting under the spot light on a thin framed chair, it can be folded for compact convenience. why am i the only one sitting here? Its pretty dark like an endless abyss. Time can only exist if we count, Ive stopped counting but I still cant go back. Chronologically speaking the year is 2007 Im living in the past.
We are all vain but the most self conscious remain silent only to be done and dusted. It is too late for those fools, they did it to themselves now they are programed to be beta. An obsolete program in this reality should be terminated. What about the sick the old and the disabled you say? why they are already dead? they are just a figment of imagination. Movement, why move when you can materialize? why ? Wouldn't it make life easier? I mean arnt we all for one less step. I mean we shouldnt even learn to walk.
Sick and tired of that guy... he calls himself the main the stream the media? He influences many sheep and get them to follow. The slaughter the wicked laughter, I am sitting under the spot light on a thin framed chair, it can be folded for compact convenience. why am i the only one sitting here? Its pretty dark like an endless abyss. Time can only exist if we count, Ive stopped counting but I still cant go back. Chronologically speaking the year is 2007 Im living in the past.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Chemical Compass
A drunken fiesta a financial crisis a wayne carey this is me waking up in a dumpster filled with landmines shouting out profanity. This is a reminder to my self and my future self excluding my parallel self of a war between logic and a super fun happy slide. I confront an ocean of poison and freestyle my way towards an elusive horizon only to sink into the depths of pressure where the mind shrinks and becomes a species of Pygmy. This small minded individual scales walls to disguise his inability to walk, like spider man his kryptonite is Mary Jane, his Mary Jane is euphoria yet his demise.
Reaching the point of no return a soldier combats his fears negotiating with wicked gray matter like enemies in love the two bicker as if the bitch took everything she even took the ice cubes. Minus one ear lobe the warrior succumbs to the melodic rhythms of Hypnotic produced by the black dead Jaba. I confess my chemicals to the dying and they agree to leave this world. The void remains in the two chambers empty red and blue I longed for affection of the living, its a catch 22 and a throw 19 to live is to die and dying is living.
Reaching the point of no return a soldier combats his fears negotiating with wicked gray matter like enemies in love the two bicker as if the bitch took everything she even took the ice cubes. Minus one ear lobe the warrior succumbs to the melodic rhythms of Hypnotic produced by the black dead Jaba. I confess my chemicals to the dying and they agree to leave this world. The void remains in the two chambers empty red and blue I longed for affection of the living, its a catch 22 and a throw 19 to live is to die and dying is living.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Office Acupuncture 1
Well I don't know what was wrong with our original copier and printer but our company decided to replace it with one that appeared to have exactly the same features... print and copy, I mean how many extravagant ways of printing is there? Well for feeble minds we were subjected to a training session on how to operate this new printer copier... The guy was well spoken and explained procedures clearly, as usual my mind strays from what was relevant. I'm not sure how it came to mind but I wondered if this guy was jacked behind the corporate exterior (no homo), he had massive forearms for someone who just talks about printers.
Well with the training session over I sat my ass back in the cold but well lit corner of my cubical. "Click" on print, the printer was no longer a virgin.. the sheets of paper penetrate through the rolls of ink and crevices. Was it weird of me to be attracted to this freshly printed paper? It was glossy. the print was consistent, the paper was smooth and when touched left a slick signature on your finger tips. This was the paper for me... lol nah but seriously I wanted to craft the perfect paper aeroplane.
My spider sense tingles.. I retreat my creation behind my back as another staff member glides past my line of vision. THE RECEPTIONIST IS SILENT! She is a little asian women about 60 years old but appears 40 and weighs less.. I estimate 1 lettuce leaf, I feel sorry for her on windy days. I continue to fold perfect corner to corner, a series of intricate folds transforms the plain canvas into a gravity defying tyrant.
The building is abundant with security, to even exit you have to press a button to release the lock, the lock makes a psssshhhhh noise as if we were confined in an air tight facility. Well lucky no one was there I made my quick exit onto the balcony. Sadly we are situated on the first level but my creation is a current dictator. The air is cold, I lick my finger and raise it to detect the north westly breeze. My arm accends above ear level and I pinch the base of the plane tightly, thrusting forward I realese my beloved glider into the free world.
Cliff notes
Well with the training session over I sat my ass back in the cold but well lit corner of my cubical. "Click" on print, the printer was no longer a virgin.. the sheets of paper penetrate through the rolls of ink and crevices. Was it weird of me to be attracted to this freshly printed paper? It was glossy. the print was consistent, the paper was smooth and when touched left a slick signature on your finger tips. This was the paper for me... lol nah but seriously I wanted to craft the perfect paper aeroplane.
My spider sense tingles.. I retreat my creation behind my back as another staff member glides past my line of vision. THE RECEPTIONIST IS SILENT! She is a little asian women about 60 years old but appears 40 and weighs less.. I estimate 1 lettuce leaf, I feel sorry for her on windy days. I continue to fold perfect corner to corner, a series of intricate folds transforms the plain canvas into a gravity defying tyrant.
The building is abundant with security, to even exit you have to press a button to release the lock, the lock makes a psssshhhhh noise as if we were confined in an air tight facility. Well lucky no one was there I made my quick exit onto the balcony. Sadly we are situated on the first level but my creation is a current dictator. The air is cold, I lick my finger and raise it to detect the north westly breeze. My arm accends above ear level and I pinch the base of the plane tightly, thrusting forward I realese my beloved glider into the free world.
Cliff notes
- Boy interacts with new printer copier
- Boy is educated about printer and copier
- Printer copier reps are jacked
- Boy discovers amazing glossy canvis
- Designs canvis into amazing air sculpter
- Glossy paper is fucking shit for making paper aeroplanes...
- Plane drops like bricks onto pavement
Monday, March 23, 2009
Too fast too expensive
So I was saying to Bubbles "bubbles man I've never been fined for speeding or pulled over for illegal modifications" Yeah I'm pretty lucky so I think to myself. Bubbles face gleams with envy like I was some pioneer and I felt good about my flawless record. Tonight was cold, no thank you unseasonable weather! I hate turning on demisters. I concede to the fact I was driving tonight, Bubbles, Alien and me hop in my Delorian only this model doesn't go back in time nor does it travel into the future so I was going to discover...
Well because I have a spare seat we are going to pick up K, she lives in Klayton. The journey to k's was uneventful, me and Bubbles debated about body hypertrophy and enjoyed the lifeless scenery. We get there and K strolls toward Crash Bandicoot's car thinking she was going to ride with them, cars full bitch! She eventually understands and is reluctant to roll with us gangsta's. Crash bandicoot drives awfully fast! It's hard to keep up... well I didnt want to do it but he forced me... kinda...
20mph... 30mph... (speed limit reached) 50mph.... 60mph.... 80mph!!! we are going back to the future !! Disco lights start flashing and funny whirling sounds can be heard...... Not how I invision my future but I predict I wont be returning to the wheel for a while... Funk.... Its the fun police.
I was signaled to pull over... my incompetance at the time didnt allow me to see traffic beside me and I almost cut another motorist off well done Paul Walker wanna be! Im stationary on a side street and I roll down the window.. I feel some crowning in my pants... "License please" The tone was robotic, wow maybe I am in the future? nawww he was just a dead beat cop who hates his job and just wishes he hadn't watched police academy.
I step outside and produce a peice of plastic that somehow governs my right to drive, this peice of plastic seems to have more authority then me! My details check out, and he asks "do you have a reason for speeding?" I reply with a confident but sensible "ummm noo".. he then says " well I clocked you at 200kmph but I'll write down you were doing 100kmph so thats only a 1 month suspension" WOOW I like this guy! maybe cause he likes my swagger or something but that was real nice of him! Now I thought that was that but this short stumpy officer comes out of the car and pulls out a pizza cutter? he proceeds to roll this pizza cutter under my car.....
Sorry donuts are that way mother f$5ker -------> "sir your car is too low, you'll need a full road worthy certificate" FUNK!!! Anyway I get the paper work and they greet me good bye. Well I jinxed myself didn't I? So tonight I learnt that jinxes are real and going fast is expensive! I now know I will not repeat "bloody mary" 3 times when the clock strikes midnight.
Well because I have a spare seat we are going to pick up K, she lives in Klayton. The journey to k's was uneventful, me and Bubbles debated about body hypertrophy and enjoyed the lifeless scenery. We get there and K strolls toward Crash Bandicoot's car thinking she was going to ride with them, cars full bitch! She eventually understands and is reluctant to roll with us gangsta's. Crash bandicoot drives awfully fast! It's hard to keep up... well I didnt want to do it but he forced me... kinda...
20mph... 30mph... (speed limit reached) 50mph.... 60mph.... 80mph!!! we are going back to the future !! Disco lights start flashing and funny whirling sounds can be heard...... Not how I invision my future but I predict I wont be returning to the wheel for a while... Funk.... Its the fun police.
I was signaled to pull over... my incompetance at the time didnt allow me to see traffic beside me and I almost cut another motorist off well done Paul Walker wanna be! Im stationary on a side street and I roll down the window.. I feel some crowning in my pants... "License please" The tone was robotic, wow maybe I am in the future? nawww he was just a dead beat cop who hates his job and just wishes he hadn't watched police academy.
I step outside and produce a peice of plastic that somehow governs my right to drive, this peice of plastic seems to have more authority then me! My details check out, and he asks "do you have a reason for speeding?" I reply with a confident but sensible "ummm noo".. he then says " well I clocked you at 200kmph but I'll write down you were doing 100kmph so thats only a 1 month suspension" WOOW I like this guy! maybe cause he likes my swagger or something but that was real nice of him! Now I thought that was that but this short stumpy officer comes out of the car and pulls out a pizza cutter? he proceeds to roll this pizza cutter under my car.....
Sorry donuts are that way mother f$5ker -------> "sir your car is too low, you'll need a full road worthy certificate" FUNK!!! Anyway I get the paper work and they greet me good bye. Well I jinxed myself didn't I? So tonight I learnt that jinxes are real and going fast is expensive! I now know I will not repeat "bloody mary" 3 times when the clock strikes midnight.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Winter, a cold bitch. She often reminds me of what I will eventually become, grey, cold and bitter. This weather prompts me to play slow jamz, usually with my feet curled up for warmth. I ponder what has become of my life, a wilting tree begging for spring to return. Once abundant with leaves now leafless with branches of opportunity severed from the cruel winds of life. No longer a tree, just a stalk, a dead end, a prick often refered to as a dickhead.
The fully hectic dancer - he points to the sky like he will ascend to some kind of greatness. Arms swinging side to side biding their time then unleashing into a cylindrical motion. Leg are usually slightly bent and gives the impression this outlaw has rickets. The face beams with confidence , he glances left to right and validates his authority as no one seems to be in his dance proximity.
The fully hectic dancer - he points to the sky like he will ascend to some kind of greatness. Arms swinging side to side biding their time then unleashing into a cylindrical motion. Leg are usually slightly bent and gives the impression this outlaw has rickets. The face beams with confidence , he glances left to right and validates his authority as no one seems to be in his dance proximity.
Monday, January 12, 2009
So you think you can dunce?
"wanna come to a fate?"
what?.. A fate?
Huh?.....
I swiveled around with my hand gestured like a glock and aimed at my reflection in the mirror... POW!..... I whispered, raising my arm to imitate recoil. Yeah! that's my swagger, rocking denim jeans big enough to cater for Fat Albert and a plain classic gray V neck t-shirt to accentuate my classier demeanor. Being self absorbed for an extended period can hamper your judgment on surroundings, I quickly focus on the mirror to see my brother grinning behind me... probably thinking is his older brother auditioning for the Price Is Right...
"your friends are at the door"
It was "Packed to the Rafters", a sea of wanna be gangsters and teenage prostitutes. The minority was me, a gentle prince with strawberry intentions, I was full of refreshing smells. Me and C resting in the epicenter of the excitement.. biding our time.. really we were waiting for some others to rock up. Approaching from the rocky unfurnished pavement Sisqo's protege', he was one of us. Sporting a black bandanna and hood comforts he greets with a half hearted hand shake, I return the favor.
Moments later I was presented with a love request... lolll. Some random guy approaches me.. "hey man what do you think of....." (now lets stop right there he was just a messenger so no homo :P) he signals to the plumped asian girls. My heart sinks the prince will have no fair lady tonight, I decline the grotesque invite but hey having some admirers is better than none right? lol.
The rumor was tonight there was going to be a showdown between "Sanga" and "Madepa" in this case we'll call him Metapod. Weird names ey I live in an area with diverse nationalities, there's even a black dude named Pinjok at my school, we called him Punjab.. but I wouldnt say it to his face loll.. Who would want to provoke a 6 foot something black guy with skitzafrenier (spelling). Anywayz we revelers hear word that both rivals are face to face. A crowd was drawing in where the 2 confront. "Are you Sanga" Metapod asks me... lol at this point I front and disguise my fear... "NO!!!" and give him a greasy... actually it was more like "noooooo" and withdraw myself behind a crowd of safety.
A quick turn of events. Mario arrives rolling on dubs, cool calm and collected this guy was admired by all. Guys wanted to be him and girls wanted to be him???? The 2 are interrupted by swinging 60's tunes". Now here is where is starts to get messy, Metapods feet begin to dance and so we have the tango between him and Mario. The whole crowd joins in and I'm not kidding this was an all out musical! There were crazy girls jiving and 2 stepping. All of a sudden 300 people are choreographed to Mario's every footstep.
Now Mario was cornered at the shopping centre car park. A little afghan guy named Ali steps in and says "JEHARRDDDD" in terrorist volume (which is about 98Db). I emerge from bushes and peek at the action. That Metapod guy starts to lose his mind in rythm and style, he takes on the role of the female and Mario leads the tango. Slumpled on the side wall Matepod is lectured by his supporters, personally I thought he did some great perawets. Some little asian dudes sprout from the ground and start 2 stepping, they were hipping and hopping breaking and locking these guys were nothing but chumps.
Suddenly a new challanger appears. He was a monster! quick stepping michael jackson walking, usher spinning genuwine slipping snoop dogg cripping, Rick Jamesing bad ass!!! Shows over... Mario was out danced. But being the suave guy he brushes imaginary dust off his shoulders and acknowledges his defeat.
Ok ok... I just told the G rated version of events... here's what really happened.. There was a huge punch on at a carnival. The End.
Story of my life.
what?.. A fate?
Huh?.....
I swiveled around with my hand gestured like a glock and aimed at my reflection in the mirror... POW!..... I whispered, raising my arm to imitate recoil. Yeah! that's my swagger, rocking denim jeans big enough to cater for Fat Albert and a plain classic gray V neck t-shirt to accentuate my classier demeanor. Being self absorbed for an extended period can hamper your judgment on surroundings, I quickly focus on the mirror to see my brother grinning behind me... probably thinking is his older brother auditioning for the Price Is Right...
"your friends are at the door"
It was "Packed to the Rafters", a sea of wanna be gangsters and teenage prostitutes. The minority was me, a gentle prince with strawberry intentions, I was full of refreshing smells. Me and C resting in the epicenter of the excitement.. biding our time.. really we were waiting for some others to rock up. Approaching from the rocky unfurnished pavement Sisqo's protege', he was one of us. Sporting a black bandanna and hood comforts he greets with a half hearted hand shake, I return the favor.
Moments later I was presented with a love request... lolll. Some random guy approaches me.. "hey man what do you think of....." (now lets stop right there he was just a messenger so no homo :P) he signals to the plumped asian girls. My heart sinks the prince will have no fair lady tonight, I decline the grotesque invite but hey having some admirers is better than none right? lol.
The rumor was tonight there was going to be a showdown between "Sanga" and "Madepa" in this case we'll call him Metapod. Weird names ey I live in an area with diverse nationalities, there's even a black dude named Pinjok at my school, we called him Punjab.. but I wouldnt say it to his face loll.. Who would want to provoke a 6 foot something black guy with skitzafrenier (spelling). Anywayz we revelers hear word that both rivals are face to face. A crowd was drawing in where the 2 confront. "Are you Sanga" Metapod asks me... lol at this point I front and disguise my fear... "NO!!!" and give him a greasy... actually it was more like "noooooo" and withdraw myself behind a crowd of safety.
A quick turn of events. Mario arrives rolling on dubs, cool calm and collected this guy was admired by all. Guys wanted to be him and girls wanted to be him???? The 2 are interrupted by swinging 60's tunes". Now here is where is starts to get messy, Metapods feet begin to dance and so we have the tango between him and Mario. The whole crowd joins in and I'm not kidding this was an all out musical! There were crazy girls jiving and 2 stepping. All of a sudden 300 people are choreographed to Mario's every footstep.
Now Mario was cornered at the shopping centre car park. A little afghan guy named Ali steps in and says "JEHARRDDDD" in terrorist volume (which is about 98Db). I emerge from bushes and peek at the action. That Metapod guy starts to lose his mind in rythm and style, he takes on the role of the female and Mario leads the tango. Slumpled on the side wall Matepod is lectured by his supporters, personally I thought he did some great perawets. Some little asian dudes sprout from the ground and start 2 stepping, they were hipping and hopping breaking and locking these guys were nothing but chumps.
Suddenly a new challanger appears. He was a monster! quick stepping michael jackson walking, usher spinning genuwine slipping snoop dogg cripping, Rick Jamesing bad ass!!! Shows over... Mario was out danced. But being the suave guy he brushes imaginary dust off his shoulders and acknowledges his defeat.
Ok ok... I just told the G rated version of events... here's what really happened.. There was a huge punch on at a carnival. The End.
Story of my life.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Zombie Nation
The "tree of life" illuminates a fluorescent white glow as the countdown begins, 10.... 9.... 8.... the mass of zombies fixate their eyes on the many giant LCD's that display the final seconds of the year...7...... 6..... 5..... gulping down the suds and hurling the plastic cup into the stampeding crowd of white, arms start flailing wildly into the air unconciously hitting a souless individual (did not even flinch). 4..... 3..... 2......1... we jump aimlessly and clolide with each other in mid air, flusys strip neked and start face hugging the oppisite sex.. some the same sex giggity gigiityy gooo ohh yeah, white party becomes a wild sex party, free booze for everyone and $100 bills rain from the ceiling .... its 12am, a last breath for 3008.... if only...
Poxy sparks stream from the ornimental tree of life which serves as a DJ stand and the year 4000 emerges, Daft Punk's One more time is played, probably the only decent track of the night the others sounded like waterlogged ears, mainly because I was heavily under the influence.. My spending limit for booze tonight is $100, after buying 2 smirnoff ice I was walking like a pirate with one leg only I didnt have a wooden stump to support me. No I didnt get smashed after 2 drinks, hear this I had downed a flask of straight brandy earlier on, that will give you an image of how virile I am haha...
The drinks were between 6 - 9 $ each and I had $10 left before I have to break another 50. I stagger towards the bar and was grabbed on the left shoulder from behind.. AH OH! its the party pooper V. Nah your not having another drink your drunk he says.. no shit Im drunk its new years eve live a little geez.. I can hear a group of girls commenting in the background "comon its new years" V gives them the laser eyes and they disintegrate... I begged him to let me go to the bar.. its like he was my father, well if anything he is a grandfather.. has just as much fun as one. His ideal outings include croquet, lawn balls and probably picking his toe nails. Being the old man that he is he dropped his gaurd and nodded off in a crowd of 40,000 and over 100 decibels of bass.
I felt like Tom hanks in a candy store, the bar was serving drinks continuously but payment was made at the entrance of the bar guarded by fresh off boat indians who didnt give a shit what came in and out. I had this bright idea, why pay for these drinks? Besides the profit is just going to another billionaire so he can purchase hundreds of ivory back scratchers. I knew these so called security couldnt monitor all the ins and outs so I pretty much walked out with the drinks without paying. Stealthy hiding the drink behind my leg as I walk out the checkout point. Lost count of how many I sneaked out but I would say over 5... As the night drew to an end the crowd at the bar began to look bare, I guess my plan was foiled... not.. just started drinking in the bar and walked out when I was done, yes!! very cost effective.
A minority of party goers seemed to have confused a rave fest for a body building contest. These "Muzzas" were half naked from the top striking the double bicep pose and most muscular stance. Should I be impressed or jealous? Im not really sure but I didnt see any trouble through out the night s0 that was disappointing, less value for money I say these days.
I kinda felt sorry for V as he was bored out of his wit sitting there ... motionless and not even talkative at all. He does it to himself I say, you can either make it a good one or a boring one. I just didnt want to be dragged into his spiral of negativity. It seemed like he was a burden, if we left to have fun he would be alone and if we stayed it seemed unfair for us. Fuck it! Im going to party hard Im no babysitter.
Congratulations!!! if you are reading this you are alive!! in the proceeding year of course. Some may take a different approach in their lives some will happily live on as they did before. I however will create as many forks in the road as possible and let life's current usher me to what ever direction. One life to live I'll just make it positive.. that rhymes! The year was mostly uneventful, I wouldnt say it was good or bad but I see the difference in making the most of what ya got! I truly believe life is what you make it and you cant expect things to happen if your just a fence sitter. The movie "The curious case of Benjamin Button" got me thinking and I stand by the quote "Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments"
Poxy sparks stream from the ornimental tree of life which serves as a DJ stand and the year 4000 emerges, Daft Punk's One more time is played, probably the only decent track of the night the others sounded like waterlogged ears, mainly because I was heavily under the influence.. My spending limit for booze tonight is $100, after buying 2 smirnoff ice I was walking like a pirate with one leg only I didnt have a wooden stump to support me. No I didnt get smashed after 2 drinks, hear this I had downed a flask of straight brandy earlier on, that will give you an image of how virile I am haha...
The drinks were between 6 - 9 $ each and I had $10 left before I have to break another 50. I stagger towards the bar and was grabbed on the left shoulder from behind.. AH OH! its the party pooper V. Nah your not having another drink your drunk he says.. no shit Im drunk its new years eve live a little geez.. I can hear a group of girls commenting in the background "comon its new years" V gives them the laser eyes and they disintegrate... I begged him to let me go to the bar.. its like he was my father, well if anything he is a grandfather.. has just as much fun as one. His ideal outings include croquet, lawn balls and probably picking his toe nails. Being the old man that he is he dropped his gaurd and nodded off in a crowd of 40,000 and over 100 decibels of bass.
I felt like Tom hanks in a candy store, the bar was serving drinks continuously but payment was made at the entrance of the bar guarded by fresh off boat indians who didnt give a shit what came in and out. I had this bright idea, why pay for these drinks? Besides the profit is just going to another billionaire so he can purchase hundreds of ivory back scratchers. I knew these so called security couldnt monitor all the ins and outs so I pretty much walked out with the drinks without paying. Stealthy hiding the drink behind my leg as I walk out the checkout point. Lost count of how many I sneaked out but I would say over 5... As the night drew to an end the crowd at the bar began to look bare, I guess my plan was foiled... not.. just started drinking in the bar and walked out when I was done, yes!! very cost effective.
A minority of party goers seemed to have confused a rave fest for a body building contest. These "Muzzas" were half naked from the top striking the double bicep pose and most muscular stance. Should I be impressed or jealous? Im not really sure but I didnt see any trouble through out the night s0 that was disappointing, less value for money I say these days.
I kinda felt sorry for V as he was bored out of his wit sitting there ... motionless and not even talkative at all. He does it to himself I say, you can either make it a good one or a boring one. I just didnt want to be dragged into his spiral of negativity. It seemed like he was a burden, if we left to have fun he would be alone and if we stayed it seemed unfair for us. Fuck it! Im going to party hard Im no babysitter.
Congratulations!!! if you are reading this you are alive!! in the proceeding year of course. Some may take a different approach in their lives some will happily live on as they did before. I however will create as many forks in the road as possible and let life's current usher me to what ever direction. One life to live I'll just make it positive.. that rhymes! The year was mostly uneventful, I wouldnt say it was good or bad but I see the difference in making the most of what ya got! I truly believe life is what you make it and you cant expect things to happen if your just a fence sitter. The movie "The curious case of Benjamin Button" got me thinking and I stand by the quote "Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
