"wanna come to a fate?"
what?.. A fate?
Huh?.....
I swiveled around with my hand gestured like a glock and aimed at my reflection in the mirror... POW!..... I whispered, raising my arm to imitate recoil. Yeah! that's my swagger, rocking denim jeans big enough to cater for Fat Albert and a plain classic gray V neck t-shirt to accentuate my classier demeanor. Being self absorbed for an extended period can hamper your judgment on surroundings, I quickly focus on the mirror to see my brother grinning behind me... probably thinking is his older brother auditioning for the Price Is Right...
"your friends are at the door"
It was "Packed to the Rafters", a sea of wanna be gangsters and teenage prostitutes. The minority was me, a gentle prince with strawberry intentions, I was full of refreshing smells. Me and C resting in the epicenter of the excitement.. biding our time.. really we were waiting for some others to rock up. Approaching from the rocky unfurnished pavement Sisqo's protege', he was one of us. Sporting a black bandanna and hood comforts he greets with a half hearted hand shake, I return the favor.
Moments later I was presented with a love request... lolll. Some random guy approaches me.. "hey man what do you think of....." (now lets stop right there he was just a messenger so no homo :P) he signals to the plumped asian girls. My heart sinks the prince will have no fair lady tonight, I decline the grotesque invite but hey having some admirers is better than none right? lol.
The rumor was tonight there was going to be a showdown between "Sanga" and "Madepa" in this case we'll call him Metapod. Weird names ey I live in an area with diverse nationalities, there's even a black dude named Pinjok at my school, we called him Punjab.. but I wouldnt say it to his face loll.. Who would want to provoke a 6 foot something black guy with skitzafrenier (spelling). Anywayz we revelers hear word that both rivals are face to face. A crowd was drawing in where the 2 confront. "Are you Sanga" Metapod asks me... lol at this point I front and disguise my fear... "NO!!!" and give him a greasy... actually it was more like "noooooo" and withdraw myself behind a crowd of safety.
A quick turn of events. Mario arrives rolling on dubs, cool calm and collected this guy was admired by all. Guys wanted to be him and girls wanted to be him???? The 2 are interrupted by swinging 60's tunes". Now here is where is starts to get messy, Metapods feet begin to dance and so we have the tango between him and Mario. The whole crowd joins in and I'm not kidding this was an all out musical! There were crazy girls jiving and 2 stepping. All of a sudden 300 people are choreographed to Mario's every footstep.
Now Mario was cornered at the shopping centre car park. A little afghan guy named Ali steps in and says "JEHARRDDDD" in terrorist volume (which is about 98Db). I emerge from bushes and peek at the action. That Metapod guy starts to lose his mind in rythm and style, he takes on the role of the female and Mario leads the tango. Slumpled on the side wall Matepod is lectured by his supporters, personally I thought he did some great perawets. Some little asian dudes sprout from the ground and start 2 stepping, they were hipping and hopping breaking and locking these guys were nothing but chumps.
Suddenly a new challanger appears. He was a monster! quick stepping michael jackson walking, usher spinning genuwine slipping snoop dogg cripping, Rick Jamesing bad ass!!! Shows over... Mario was out danced. But being the suave guy he brushes imaginary dust off his shoulders and acknowledges his defeat.
Ok ok... I just told the G rated version of events... here's what really happened.. There was a huge punch on at a carnival. The End.
Story of my life.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Zombie Nation
The "tree of life" illuminates a fluorescent white glow as the countdown begins, 10.... 9.... 8.... the mass of zombies fixate their eyes on the many giant LCD's that display the final seconds of the year...7...... 6..... 5..... gulping down the suds and hurling the plastic cup into the stampeding crowd of white, arms start flailing wildly into the air unconciously hitting a souless individual (did not even flinch). 4..... 3..... 2......1... we jump aimlessly and clolide with each other in mid air, flusys strip neked and start face hugging the oppisite sex.. some the same sex giggity gigiityy gooo ohh yeah, white party becomes a wild sex party, free booze for everyone and $100 bills rain from the ceiling .... its 12am, a last breath for 3008.... if only...
Poxy sparks stream from the ornimental tree of life which serves as a DJ stand and the year 4000 emerges, Daft Punk's One more time is played, probably the only decent track of the night the others sounded like waterlogged ears, mainly because I was heavily under the influence.. My spending limit for booze tonight is $100, after buying 2 smirnoff ice I was walking like a pirate with one leg only I didnt have a wooden stump to support me. No I didnt get smashed after 2 drinks, hear this I had downed a flask of straight brandy earlier on, that will give you an image of how virile I am haha...
The drinks were between 6 - 9 $ each and I had $10 left before I have to break another 50. I stagger towards the bar and was grabbed on the left shoulder from behind.. AH OH! its the party pooper V. Nah your not having another drink your drunk he says.. no shit Im drunk its new years eve live a little geez.. I can hear a group of girls commenting in the background "comon its new years" V gives them the laser eyes and they disintegrate... I begged him to let me go to the bar.. its like he was my father, well if anything he is a grandfather.. has just as much fun as one. His ideal outings include croquet, lawn balls and probably picking his toe nails. Being the old man that he is he dropped his gaurd and nodded off in a crowd of 40,000 and over 100 decibels of bass.
I felt like Tom hanks in a candy store, the bar was serving drinks continuously but payment was made at the entrance of the bar guarded by fresh off boat indians who didnt give a shit what came in and out. I had this bright idea, why pay for these drinks? Besides the profit is just going to another billionaire so he can purchase hundreds of ivory back scratchers. I knew these so called security couldnt monitor all the ins and outs so I pretty much walked out with the drinks without paying. Stealthy hiding the drink behind my leg as I walk out the checkout point. Lost count of how many I sneaked out but I would say over 5... As the night drew to an end the crowd at the bar began to look bare, I guess my plan was foiled... not.. just started drinking in the bar and walked out when I was done, yes!! very cost effective.
A minority of party goers seemed to have confused a rave fest for a body building contest. These "Muzzas" were half naked from the top striking the double bicep pose and most muscular stance. Should I be impressed or jealous? Im not really sure but I didnt see any trouble through out the night s0 that was disappointing, less value for money I say these days.
I kinda felt sorry for V as he was bored out of his wit sitting there ... motionless and not even talkative at all. He does it to himself I say, you can either make it a good one or a boring one. I just didnt want to be dragged into his spiral of negativity. It seemed like he was a burden, if we left to have fun he would be alone and if we stayed it seemed unfair for us. Fuck it! Im going to party hard Im no babysitter.
Congratulations!!! if you are reading this you are alive!! in the proceeding year of course. Some may take a different approach in their lives some will happily live on as they did before. I however will create as many forks in the road as possible and let life's current usher me to what ever direction. One life to live I'll just make it positive.. that rhymes! The year was mostly uneventful, I wouldnt say it was good or bad but I see the difference in making the most of what ya got! I truly believe life is what you make it and you cant expect things to happen if your just a fence sitter. The movie "The curious case of Benjamin Button" got me thinking and I stand by the quote "Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments"
Poxy sparks stream from the ornimental tree of life which serves as a DJ stand and the year 4000 emerges, Daft Punk's One more time is played, probably the only decent track of the night the others sounded like waterlogged ears, mainly because I was heavily under the influence.. My spending limit for booze tonight is $100, after buying 2 smirnoff ice I was walking like a pirate with one leg only I didnt have a wooden stump to support me. No I didnt get smashed after 2 drinks, hear this I had downed a flask of straight brandy earlier on, that will give you an image of how virile I am haha...
The drinks were between 6 - 9 $ each and I had $10 left before I have to break another 50. I stagger towards the bar and was grabbed on the left shoulder from behind.. AH OH! its the party pooper V. Nah your not having another drink your drunk he says.. no shit Im drunk its new years eve live a little geez.. I can hear a group of girls commenting in the background "comon its new years" V gives them the laser eyes and they disintegrate... I begged him to let me go to the bar.. its like he was my father, well if anything he is a grandfather.. has just as much fun as one. His ideal outings include croquet, lawn balls and probably picking his toe nails. Being the old man that he is he dropped his gaurd and nodded off in a crowd of 40,000 and over 100 decibels of bass.
I felt like Tom hanks in a candy store, the bar was serving drinks continuously but payment was made at the entrance of the bar guarded by fresh off boat indians who didnt give a shit what came in and out. I had this bright idea, why pay for these drinks? Besides the profit is just going to another billionaire so he can purchase hundreds of ivory back scratchers. I knew these so called security couldnt monitor all the ins and outs so I pretty much walked out with the drinks without paying. Stealthy hiding the drink behind my leg as I walk out the checkout point. Lost count of how many I sneaked out but I would say over 5... As the night drew to an end the crowd at the bar began to look bare, I guess my plan was foiled... not.. just started drinking in the bar and walked out when I was done, yes!! very cost effective.
A minority of party goers seemed to have confused a rave fest for a body building contest. These "Muzzas" were half naked from the top striking the double bicep pose and most muscular stance. Should I be impressed or jealous? Im not really sure but I didnt see any trouble through out the night s0 that was disappointing, less value for money I say these days.
I kinda felt sorry for V as he was bored out of his wit sitting there ... motionless and not even talkative at all. He does it to himself I say, you can either make it a good one or a boring one. I just didnt want to be dragged into his spiral of negativity. It seemed like he was a burden, if we left to have fun he would be alone and if we stayed it seemed unfair for us. Fuck it! Im going to party hard Im no babysitter.
Congratulations!!! if you are reading this you are alive!! in the proceeding year of course. Some may take a different approach in their lives some will happily live on as they did before. I however will create as many forks in the road as possible and let life's current usher me to what ever direction. One life to live I'll just make it positive.. that rhymes! The year was mostly uneventful, I wouldnt say it was good or bad but I see the difference in making the most of what ya got! I truly believe life is what you make it and you cant expect things to happen if your just a fence sitter. The movie "The curious case of Benjamin Button" got me thinking and I stand by the quote "Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments"
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