Caught Red Headed

So I was ditched at McDonalds with Fat Phill ironically, I had ordered a 30 cent soft serve ice cream (now they are 50 cents! Thats an outrage!) while Phill ordered my entire days food consumption . Without notice Ron and Lucas had dissapeared without me, what a tratorious act to leave me with this hideous food processor. I returned home puzzled since it was out of character for them to do so, we were a trio and had a tight bond.. atleast thats what I gathered? The inquisitive side of me was compelled to investigate, so armed with optus prepaid free time which allows you to call any optus prepaid mobile free for a limited duration, I spoke to some relevant sources to uncover their where abouts.

Eagerly anticipated to locate them, I set off the quickest way possible! By push bike... she was beautiful, caramel cream paint lathered smoothly across the aluminum frame, unlimited spokes held the rims from buckling under pressure and a thick sturdy chain that glistened beneath the sun indicating a well lubricated bike. The 315 Specialized was one hell of a ride!
The up hill was punishing, my quadriceps ached as lactic acid built up. Finally the battle between gravity was won, at the top of the hill awaited Dsilva and Sarky. I was happy to cross paths with them and they were surprised to find me as a uno instead of the usual trio. I explained my story and they were inclined to join my search, in fact they had some relative information.

Dsilva had revealed to me Ron was secretly seeing "Man Woman", the title speaks of itself.. she had an apperance of a he. She he was 6 foot 5 inches, armoured with pectorious majors that could deflect a gun shot, thighs as thick as a maple tree and a voice producing the lowest frequencies in the sound spectrum. My knees tremoured, the thought of Ron caressing the chissled face of this prehistoric neanderthal sickened me. I have to say respect points dropped to a 0... from an areadly feeble 1... haha. Okay back to reality he she wasnt as powerful as he she sounded, she did have a masculine jaw line and was labeled trailor trash by our peers as mean as it sounds. To Ron all he wanted to do was serenade her with his tight ryhmes (he thinks he looks like Eminem) and eventually enter her luke warm crevice repeatedly.. with lil Ron. It was due to my imaturity that I was kept in the dark, but im sure he was just ashamed tsk tsk...

We headed down towards the school where they were rumored to be. Since I was on my 315 (bike) I was in the lead and I suggested to take off without them and come back to report whether I had sighted either Lucas or Ron. I pedaled across the foot path adjacent to the school, pass the front reception and towards the oval. To my surprise I sighted Ron in the middle of the field with Man woman, they were embracing each other and "talking" (they say the language of love is kissing) I remained in stealth and rode past with out them noticing. He was sprung! I pedaled furiously back to Dsilva and Sarky, from a distance they could tell I had discovered him. My grin was seen from a distance and my laughter was heard.

We hid amongst the bushes and viewed in disgust... It appeared as though he was re-enacting a scene from a romance movie, Ron held her his wide shoulders while peering into her his stone cold eyes biding his time, waiting for the right moment. Suddenly he thrusts her him down onto the grass and passionately kisses, were we perverts? I guess so in today's society but we were kids and up to no good back then, so I see it as acceptable. Eventually we couldnt contain our laughter and we were discovered. The pair sat up and I could see the embarrassment in Ron's eyes, but in my eyes it was satisfaction.

He later told me not to tell anyone... Oooooo you know how it is back in the day keeping kiddie secrets. Well I must admit I was very immature, we all were. A few years further down the track Ron was sprung again with man woman, a quote if I may, "Ahhhh in berwick.... ahh noo I mean Narre". Thats another story though and this time she he had transformed into something more, a very rare and endangered species. But at the end of the day be honest and you'll have less to worry about, its only when you hide people get curious.

Why was this memorable? I thought it was quite an achievement that my detectives skills prevailed. I returned home that day thinking I could be a PI. It dosnt sound technical at all and where was the problem solving? well the finer details are lost and this is all I could remember.

Chapter X